Daily Journal

Alpha 2016 happened 2 weeks ago, and it was kind of a kainos experience for me, having the opportunity to serve for multimedia on conference's first day, and subsequently being able to meet people from different congregation. Haha more to that is a candle-lit moments where we celebrate the church's 25th anniversary.

But of course the major takeaway of this conference was the assurance in God's faithfulness during my greatest weakness. Recalling a tiny moment with God was when I question His existence in moments where my heart stresses over things that are beyond my control, His still voice "I'm here" was enough to tell me that I wasn't going through things alone. With a past history of a negative, insecure girl, my greatest worry was for it to re-surface again. But more to that was a lesson learnt that as long as my heart carries the Hope that God's love unconditionally surpasses human's definition of "love" and allowing His spirit guides me through life, the optimism and joy will always be in Reg.

So after the conference, comes the decision of whether or not to move to Seletar Country Club and be part of the pioneer congregation for N/NE region. I understood why God calls me into this life group, but my flesh tells me it's kind of tedious traveling 1.5 hours down to Seletar Country Club for service when I can walk 10 mins to axis lol. Is it a major life transition coming along the way....? Transiting into adulthood wasn't easy to begin with, and I wasn't doing a good job transiting into new commitments and now there's another upcoming transition. :O Anyways I'm really excited of the work that God has been doing in this church, breaking out into the world, being the light amidst darkness was something that I look forward to everyday. :D

Aside from that, life has been pretty rocky for the past few days. Apart from being busy with waipo's funeral, felt like I had a post-trauma syndrome dreaming about loved ones dying and getting my day really wrong at work when my heart was elsewhere. More to that was the day where my phone died when I'm otw meeting yw and an unknown disgusting substance that was thrown to my bag, destroying my stuff and yw's library book. :( Thank God prayer works 100% and God always answers them. Now I'm feeling better, and a good news that my MCC's grade was better than expected.

And I think God has been convicting me to be a good steward of my finance, and looking ahead for the next 5-10 years. Nitty gritty stuff that I've got to think of as legitly step into adulthood where I've got to be 100% independent. Studying which insurance best fits me, saving $50 per month and working part time for the upcoming termination of my monthly allowance from the parents was sure a hassle, but a good discipline to start my life right. Haha all thanks to yw for being my role model in finance. :P

For now, it's time for me to get my heart condition right before I can do things for God. Been acting like a block christian for months, and sometimes it scares me to fellowship and talk about problems and issues when you know.... you got to get the plank out of your eye before you can do so for your brothers and sisters. Time to get into restoration mode, put the past aside, and ask God for a new direction. Time to re-prioritise my time and effort, and start thinking about what I can do to contribute to the life group apart from being so MIA.... Ultimately it is God whom calls the life group to be a family right.....? God, pls guide me.