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Regina K
22 & graduated I love coffee-art and colours Have an interest in photography, but don't exactly have the talent :P ******* I pen down things worthy to remember. Even with the toughest struggles in life. Because when I read back in future, I will remember and know that God has brought me through I have decided to follow Jesus! No turning back Credits
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What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
Matthew 16:26
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?
Luke 9:25
I guess today's sermon hit me hard as I reflect about my life for the past few months.
Maybe I haven't gained the whole world, maybe none of this applied to me, but what have I done apart from all these, that forfeited my soul?
What is it like to dress modestly for Jesus, as compared to dressing for the eyes of people
What is it like to do well in exams for the Glory of God as compared to doing well for pride.
What is it like to love people as the Father loves them, as compared to feeding people's ego in exchange for their approval
What is it like to have plenty and to give plenty, as compared to having plenty and keeping it for one's own gain.
Appearance, Achievements, Approval, Affluence
What defines me?
What is it like to live knowing that God values me, God loves me, God doesn't despise me because of sin, God has big plans for me, God wants the best for me.
What defines me?
The world, or the Father?
The temporal, or the eternal?
Oh a hind side, I'm addicted to Pokemon Go. HALP.
Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, it can also be love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, or complete love.
Checkmate.
"Have you ever wanted to give up on Christianity?"
That was the topic of our life group's sermon discussion.
"We came to a point where we experienced God so much that we can never deny His true existence, and His true unconditional love for us"
That was our group's conclusion
Which I totally agreed. Although Christianity is a tough job, a tough journey, a journey that I once loved and hated, and a journey that I once wanted to give up so badly because of my selfishness. No one human being can do the same perfect job as God who created "love", and chose to love us even if we deny Him, hated Him, badmouthed Him, and even tormented Him and sent Him to the cross.
The world's definition of love says "I love you IF",
maybe some people would deny that and debate that "I had always loved him/her no matter how disappointed I am for them".
Yet there is always this subtle, unconscious mind that expects a "If he/she had done this for me, I will be so glad"
And many of us once said this to Jesus:
"You didn't answer my prayer, are you not good to me at all?"
and
"If God is so good, then why__(this happened)_______"
Thats...
Conditional Love.
Jesus didn't expect us to love Him like how He loved us. Even as he already knew that we fall from the perfect standard of God and we loved him in such a conditional way, God still loves us unconditionally.
His love is Complete Love, and that is why I chose to stay on this relationship with Him.
Alpha 2016 happened 2 weeks ago, and it was kind of a kainos experience for me, having the opportunity to serve for multimedia on conference's first day, and subsequently being able to meet people from different congregation. Haha more to that is a candle-lit moments where we celebrate the church's 25th anniversary.
But of course the major takeaway of this conference was the assurance in God's faithfulness during my greatest weakness. Recalling a tiny moment with God was when I question His existence in moments where my heart stresses over things that are beyond my control, His still voice "I'm here" was enough to tell me that I wasn't going through things alone. With a past history of a negative, insecure girl, my greatest worry was for it to re-surface again. But more to that was a lesson learnt that as long as my heart carries the Hope that God's love unconditionally surpasses human's definition of "love" and allowing His spirit guides me through life, the optimism and joy will always be in Reg.
MM Day 1 :D
So after the conference, comes the decision of whether or not to move to Seletar Country Club and be part of the pioneer congregation for N/NE region. I understood why God calls me into this life group, but my flesh tells me it's kind of tedious traveling 1.5 hours down to Seletar Country Club for service when I can walk 10 mins to axis lol. Is it a major life transition coming along the way....? Transiting into adulthood wasn't easy to begin with, and I wasn't doing a good job transiting into new commitments and now there's another upcoming transition. :O Anyways I'm really excited of the work that God has been doing in this church, breaking out into the world, being the light amidst darkness was something that I look forward to everyday. :D
N/NE pioneer batch wooo!
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Aside from that, life has been pretty rocky for the past few days. Apart from being busy with waipo's funeral, felt like I had a post-trauma syndrome dreaming about loved ones dying and getting my day really wrong at work when my heart was elsewhere. More to that was the day where my phone died when I'm otw meeting yw and an unknown disgusting substance that was thrown to my bag, destroying my stuff and yw's library book. :( Thank God prayer works 100% and God always answers them. Now I'm feeling better, and a good news that my MCC's grade was better than expected.
Thank you Jesus! :D
And I think God has been convicting me to be a good steward of my finance, and looking ahead for the next 5-10 years. Nitty gritty stuff that I've got to think of as legitly step into adulthood where I've got to be 100% independent. Studying which insurance best fits me, saving $50 per month and working part time for the upcoming termination of my monthly allowance from the parents was sure a hassle, but a good discipline to start my life right. Haha all thanks to yw for being my role model in finance. :P
For now, it's time for me to get my heart condition right before I can do things for God. Been acting like a block christian for months, and sometimes it scares me to fellowship and talk about problems and issues when you know.... you got to get the plank out of your eye before you can do so for your brothers and sisters. Time to get into restoration mode, put the past aside, and ask God for a new direction. Time to re-prioritise my time and effort, and start thinking about what I can do to contribute to the life group apart from being so MIA.... Ultimately it is God whom calls the life group to be a family right.....? God, pls guide me.
Now all I am, I laid at your feet
I'm humbled by the wonders of Your majesty;
Reflecting upon what happened for the past few months, I'm in awe of what God has been silently doing in our lives. Even though I remain unfaithful and thinking that all our prayers are nothing, God showed me how wrong I am, and how much I really need to trust in His timing. Tracing back to when the calling was given, when I was full of conviction and fire, and which the fire quickly dies down when a series of unexpected scenarios happened.. where I eventually sought a quick and impulsive conclusion that perhaps I heard it all wrong, perhaps it ain't a calling after all...... But this really shows me how faithful our God is, even though my unfaithfulness caused me to halt working toward this calling. God's plan still goes on, He is still glorified in our midst. And I am deeply humbled. Sometimes reading the book of Job got me wondering if God were to ever appear in front of me and speak to me like how He speaks to Job.... Like a conversational thing you know... Haha. ------- Exams were really hectic, sometimes I asked myself how did I ever survived my 7 modules in poly but struggling to cope with only two exams right here in uni.. And mom said she's gonna cut off all my allowance after my last paper in September.. Financial crisis officially starts then. I need to find a part time job.. o_o And I was talking to Xiuping about how unready I am to work for the next 45 years of my life after graduation... Electric bills, insurance, cpf, parents, BTO, wedding, babies.... (+ traveling) $$$$$$$$$$ Yada yada.. Just sorting out my thoughts. 
Color Therapy
Went through all my old personal blogs to realize how much I've grown since 12 y/o till today. 10 years worth of blogging moments surely brought me into a deep reminisce of what had happened during these 10 years of growing up. We create memories that grow and mold us into who we are as adults today. Haha. I got really reminded of my old self and how lack of self-confidence was something that got me hesitant from doing many things that I ambition-ed myself to do. I remembered committing to the Lord once that since I don't have self-confidence, then I'll have a Christ-confidence. A confidence and trust in the Lord that He's got my back, and in every season and trials stand a perfect plan that He'd already crafted for me. Even tho today I'm still struggling in the issue of self-confidence, I remember telling myself that as a limited human being, I could only have control in a limited amount of things that can possibly happen in my life, even tho a greater fraction of uncontrollables (and unexpectations) were the ones that set us up in failures, disappointments and regrets. But how about knowing that God is in control of my uncontrollables, and He has that greatest plan for me. That trust and confidence - is the hope that keeps me going. Knowing that failures can teach me, disappointments can strengthen me and regrets can mold me into someone better, and someone I was created to be.
Chanced upon this song during mm rehearsal that got me reminded to not lose myself into this world, but to focus on the One who is constant, and who filled me up with the hope in life when I once was a lost child.
#thankful #thankyoujesus
22 y/o, not sure what's gonna lie ahead.
Clumsy, notorious, impulsive decisions accompanied with a flow of "what ifs" and a high level of uncertainty avoidance might just be the way to keep myself on track.
Adulthood. Please treat me well.
"The Real Me"
Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile Don't let anybody in Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break How much will they take before I'm empty Do I let it show, does anybody know? [Chorus:] But you see the real me Hiding in my skin, broken from within Unveil me completely I'm loosening my grasp There's no need to mask my frailty Cause you see the real me
Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown I'm tired of the song and dance Living a charade, always on parade What a mess I've made of my existence But you love me even now And still I see somehow But you see the real me Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp There's no need to mask my frailty Cause you see the real me Wonderful, beautiful is what you see When you look at me You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into A perfect tapestry I just wanna be me 2015 was a pretty stumbling, clumsy yet happening year for me as I embarked into a season of adulthood, where I get exposed to more things and where I slowly understood more things about life. Embracing the vision that God gave for 2015: The Year of The Lord's Favor, I question God sometimes on where is God's favor in the midst of my trials and struggles? In the midst of this wilderness that I'm walking, I don't quite see a light on the direction that my life is heading towards. But at the end of the year, I started to appreciate this season that God has placed me in. Pastor Simon Eng said: God is more interested in a person's character than what that person do. I reflected upon this statement and evaluated my heart condition for the past year and upon the growth/fall that engraves in my heart. Although life sucks sometimes, I ought to know that God's love prevails above all things. His unconditional love has showed me in the lives of the people around me, His favor and blessings, tho sometimes were blinded by my prideful eyes was never a shortchange. God loves me, and this I know. Not only does the bible tells me so, but the Holy Spirit tells me so. And so in 2016, I choose to continue to give praise. I choose to remain bubbly, for this joy comes from the love and hope in the Lord. :D Yay! |